1
Let’s get this out of the way, shall we? You watched me bring this into the house with love, pride, and admiration. It became the fourth dimension to my wallet, keys, and glasses rotation every morning when I was ready to step out the door.One night away. That’s all it took. And you ripped it apart.I don’t know where to begin. Maybe the fact that this is the most I have allowed myself to spend on anything. The one time I thought I deserved a treat. A treat that did not involve you. But your impatience got the better of you.
Well yes. You’ve caught me red handed. You’ve read me to filth. I cannot help it though. You’re right. I am after all…a creature of habit.
That is not funny. You cannot play the animal-tendency card right now. The soft leather is tempting to touch, I know it is. It is part of the reason I bought this. Your claws could not resist. It seems like no number of scratch boards and poles and toys could have prevented this disaster.
Okay, I hear you. I pretend to not, but I do. How about you let me make this up to you?
You’re kidding, right? Your vet bills and adoption fee are not even a sizable fraction of the hole that this burned into my wallet. I love you, I do. But sometimes you just cannot make up for destroying something valuable with emotion.
I don’t know why your species came up with that concept, but I will not invalidate how you’re feeling just because I don’t understand it. I know you try to do that for me too.
Okay, that was nice of you to say…I know you’re right, it’s just an object. Things come and go and all that. Please do not do something like this again, if you can help it.
You know I can’t help it though-
Yes, whatever, fine. I understand the drill. I guess I’ll be more careful.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2
Man, I haven’t seen you around for some time. Has everything been okay?
Man.
Man.
Man.
Man.
Let me just-
Yes, go on.
I don’t recognise that smell. Is it what I think it is?
Yes. She’s finally met someone. I do really like her. I thought I wouldn't, you know? Adjust to someone new. Living with her - it has just been the two of us for a few years. But her new girlfriend is really nice.
Oh man, I am happy for you. Does she stay around a lot?
Yes she says she is visiting but, pretty much sleeps over every night. It’s like her last girlfriend, they seem to move really fast with things and bam! One day there’s stuff flying around the room, I am the problem for trying to catch the towel flung across the room.. Dark times. I remember that. Hope this works out. Treats?
It’s like the lottery. Every hour she sneaks into the kitchen to grab me some, I just make the, you know, the face.
Yes, the face. Speaking of, I need to get going. I am trying to make it up to Caroline.
You rip something again?
Something like that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3
Jordan, he’s back again. Come out. Fast!
Nice to see you too Cooper.
Oh there’s that entitled little thing again. HEY, HEY. I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM MY AREA. YOU SEE THIS, IT IS MY BOUNDARY.
Quit shouting Jordan. I am looking for something, I will leave when I find it.
It is my responsibility to keep this area safe. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED HERE. YOU SHOULD LEAVE.
Careful buddy. All that saliva is not going to clean the floor. I have it now. I am leaving.
YOU DO NOT GET TO TAKE ANYTHING FROM HERE, ITS NOT YOURS. WAIT YOU, HEY. STOP. STOP NOW, HEY YOU-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4
Babe hello.
Hi sweetpie.
Is this for me?
This one’s for Caroline. She is mad at me. I’ve brought you something else though.
Oh aren’t you a gentlecat.
Will you give my fur a little clean?
You don’t have to ask.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5
I am homeeee. Where are you buddy? I have had a long day. Long day. You must be hungry. Did you miss me? Where are you hiding?
Caroline O’ Caroline. What do you come bearing? What’s that smell? Any treats for me?
Buddy ruffle through the bag all you want. You need to eat dinner, that’s what you're getting now.
What in the unpleasant universe? What is this? Did you bring this? Oh my god. You went out again. You thought you had to bring me something. Is this about the bag? Oh my god, I might throw up. Caroline, how many times have I told you it is impolite to judge my hunt that way. We fend, we feed, we take turns huh.
This makes me sick, my stomach. I don't think I can eat something tonight. I am going to have to ring housekeeping in the morning again, and they are not going to do this for free. It is like you are rooting for my bankruptcy dude.
Okay so my dinner though?
Sigh. here. Take an extra scoop. I don't know what to do with you anymore.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------